Talking About Mental Health and Setting Boundaries in the Workplace

Posted on By Becky Holyoak 3 Comments on Talking About Mental Health and Setting Boundaries in the Workplace
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So, today I want to take a step back and take some time to talk about mental health and its stigmas. Specially, stigmas with mental health issues in the workplace and having an actual work life balance.   

So first off, lets establish what a stigma is. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a stigma is a mark of shame or discredit. Like negative branding, a tarnished reputation, or a generally negative characteristic or attribute.

The American Psychiatric Association breaks it down further into 3 different types of stigmas.

  • Public/social stigma – the discriminatory views and opinions that others hold around you.
  • Self-stigma – the internalized attitude, shame, vulnerability that you have about yourself.
  • Institutional stigma – the systemic, organizational tendencies that institutions and organizations have that may limit opportunities for people.

Most often, stigmas are manifested through 3 different ways.

  • Stereotypes – standardized patterns or common beliefs that over oversimplified opinions and prejudicial judgements.
  • Prejudices – a preconceived opinion and attitude that is unfounded and without sufficient support and backing.
  • Discrimination – the unequal treatment towards people based on prejudicial and biased perceptions.

So, why do I want to talk about this… because we don’t talk about it enough. Even talking about mental health is awkward. I went to my eye doctor, and we were talking about my allergies. And they even expressed feeling awkward talking about medications in people’s medical histories because they were not sure how people would react if the medication was for mental health. That was a medical setting and even the health care provider was skirting around talking about mental health. It is a taboo subject that I want to open the door a little wider to talk about what is so common for a large portion of the population.

During my time in the military, I was a Military Police Officer. I was a first responder to situations where people were experiencing a crisis or an incredibly stressful situation. My civilian job now, is assisting people with FMLA (The Family Medical Leave Act) mainly medical leaves and disability claims for themselves or their family members. While I would like to say that most of them are because of the birth of a child, that is not the case. People are struggling with a parent entering end of life care, battling a life-threatening illness, or watching a child battle for their own life. None of these are easy situations and more often than not, they bring financial hardship that can mean crippling debt. One of the biggest issues I am seeing is plain and simple mental health. Children, adults and even grandparents are battling with mental health issues like depression, anxiety, loneliness and trying to maintain a job to cover their necessary expenses all the while.

I guarantee you, that everyone is going to battle depression at one time or another during their life. I know I have; I’ve had my moments where I needed to take a knee and focus on my self-care more than anything else. And that is ok. It is okay to have those feelings and those emotions. It is okay to feel scared, sad, angry, anxious, and depressed. Those feelings are a part of life.

The problem with mental health issues when compared to physical body issues is you can’t see the injury or the complications that occur. You break a bone, you can see the swelling, the cast, the physical therapy that comes after the fact. You can’t look at someone on the street and see they are battling internally with depression or PTSD.

I spoke with someone the other day at work, who talked about feeling like they were a quitter. All because they felt that the walls in their personal life and their work life were crumbling in around them and they needed to take a step back. I’ve had countless phone calls with mangers and colleagues who are very close to reaching their breaking point. Between COVID and the social isolation, their work life seeming to overwhelm any chance at a personal life, and the struggles of trying to save for retirement or raise a family, small little things all start building up. Then pretty soon, all it takes is one little thing to that is just too much.

It often feels like taking a mental health day is looked down upon in the workplace. Employers might lean towards the money side of the house. Chasing that bottom line and trying to keep a business afloat. For other coworkers, it might be that when someone takes a day off, the rest of the team has to pick up the work left behind. Managers might struggle with staffing a shift and everyone is impacted one way or another. So often, people who might be struggling with mental health are often portrayed as problem employees in the office with attendance issues and known for “working the system.” Now, we all know that there will always be a few bad apples that do abuse this, and they give everyone else a bad rap. That will never change but, we can change how we look at ourselves, our coworkers, and even our friends and families.

“The number of people looking for help with anxiety and depression has skyrocketed.” Between January and September of 2020, there was a 93 percent increase in people being screened for anxiety. And a 62 percent increase in people being screened for depression. – Mental Health America. The State of Mental Health in America.

According to a 2020 report from the CDC, 31% reported symptoms of anxiety or depression, 13% reported starting or increasing substance use, 26% reported stress-related symptoms, and 11% reported thoughts of suicide in the past 30 days. “These numbers are nearly double the rates we would have expected before the pandemic.” Joshua Gordon, Director of NIMH.

Here are some more stats from CDC.gov –

  • More than 50% will be diagnosed with a mental illness or disorder at some point in their lifetime.
  • 1 in 5 Americans will experience a mental illness in a given year.
  • 1 in 5 children, either currently or at some point during their life, have had a seriously debilitating mental illness.
  • 1 in 25 Americans lives with a serious mental illness, such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or major depression

A lot of larger employers have their own employee assistance program set-up already. Employee Assistance Program (EAP) – Are common employer run services that cater to employees with concerns about mental health, family and interpersonal problems and financial issues. But, just having something in place is not enough. A poll conducted through the American Psychiatric Association in 2019 found that about 50% of workers feel comfortable having discussions about mental health in the workplace. However, 25% of workers would not know where to go to get help. That is one of the biggest trends that I see in my job, people know that they are struggling but they don’t know where to go to get help.

So, here are a few resources that I really think everyone should know.

If you are working for a leader or an organization that ignores the toll your job is taking on you or only fosters a one-sided relationship, you have to put yourself first. You need to take care of yourself, and you have to put your family first. If your employer or boss is not up for at least having an open conversation about how you are doing and how your life is going, then they might not be the best fit for you. If the focus is adding as much work as possible on to your plate with no reference towards your personal/work-life balance, it might be time to look for a new employer.

This isn’t a bash the company talk, this is a taking care of yourself talk. Every organization is different and fosters different cultures. Some are more open than others when it comes to talking about life’s struggles and mental health issues. Even just your first line supervisor can make all the difference. But is it is a two sided relationship and you do have a say in it. If you raise your hand and say I am really struggling today, I need to take some time to work through this and they shut you down, don’t let that be the end of it. Don’t let that moment create a tunnel vision that often happens in crisis or stress where there is only one way out. You have other options, I promise you. It might not seem like it at the time but if you call the crisis hotline, someone will always answer, and they will always try their best to help you create a plan to get through it.

I want each of you to remember this, having emotions and struggling with depression or anxiety or just feeling overwhelmed is valid. You are valid. Your thoughts and feelings are valid. You deserve to be heard and understood. Talking to a mental health professional does not make you any less of a person, it makes you human. Be gentle with yourself and have grace with those around you who might be silently suffering. Don’t be afraid to raise your hand and ask for help or offer your hand to those around you.  A simple hello or asking how someone is doing can make all the difference. The little things really do matter. Don’t be afraid to take a day for yourself and practice self-care. I know I’ll be taking a hot bubble bath to unwind!

Resources:

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